I really envy Moses, Elijah, Paul, and Jesus. They were people who relied on prayer as though it made a difference–as though it really was conversation with God. Exodus 33:11 says that “the Lord spoke to Moses face to face, as a man speaks to his friend.” Elijah’s prayers affected the weather, Paul never stopped praying, and Jesus would sometimes pray all night (James 5:17; Colossians 1:9; Luke 6:12). Wow!
Undeniably, these prayer-filled lives encourage us to take all of our desires and distresses, praise and pleas, troubles and triumphs to God. They reinforce the expectation that God hears and answers our prayers, just as Jesus promised (John 14:13-14, etc.). Isn’t it exciting when God says “Yes” to our requests? I can’t think of anything that affirms God’s presence in my life more than receiving something for which I’ve prayed. But, not every sincerely offered prayer is answered in the affirmative. Sometimes God responds to our requests with a resounding “NO!” That often throws me into a tail spin! That’s when I question God, I question myself, and I question the validity of prayer!
But you remember that Moses, Elijah, Paul, and Jesus all heard God say “No.” When Moses wanted to go into the promised land, God said “NO!” When Elijah asked God to end his life, God said “NO!” When Paul asked to be rid of his “thorn,” God said “NO!” When Jesus asked if there were any way around the Cross, God said “NO!”
There are lessons to learn from these “no” answers, though. “No” to Moses underscored the importance of God’s holiness (Deuteronomy 32:51). “No” to Elijah meant God had more work for him to do. “No” to Paul served to protect him from destructive pride. “No” to Jesus meant that some suffering is unavoidable if sin is to be overcome. I guess the questions I need to ask when God says “No” are not whether there is a God, or if He cares, or even if I am truly His child. The questions I need to ask are, What does this ‘No’ teach me about myself and God’s will for my life?” Maybe hearing “No!” affirms God’s presence in my life as much as hearing “Yes.”
DAVID, TOO, HEARD GOD’S FIRM “NO” in answer to his requests. Sometimes it was because of his failure to obey God’s Word (as with the ox cart death — 2 Samuel 6). Other times it was because God had something else in mind for David. When David wanted to build God a fine home in Jerusalem, God said “no!” David didn’t think it was right for him to have a fine palace and God dwell in an old tent (the tabernacle), so he asked God if he could build Him a fine home, but God rejected David’s offer (2 Samuel 7:1-7; I Chronicles 17:3-4). Why?
Think of a single woman in her middle to late 30’s has long wanted to be married and have a family, but has not found a Christian husband. She has poured her heart out to God for years asking Him to help her, but she has remained single. Now it is beginning to look like she will never find the husband she desires. Her dreams seem broken. Or picture the only child of a couple in their late 30’s has leukemia. The doctors have given him less than 6 months to live. His parents and the members of the whole church have prayed without ceasing for the boy. Day by day, however, he has gotten worse. Finally, he dies. Their dreams of a family die with him.
What about a young man desires to be a missionary on a foreign field. He is sure it is the Lord’s will. He sacrifices to get his training but when it is nearly complete, he falls ill. Both of his kidneys fail. His years of dreams for the mission field die as he is told that he will never be able to live in an area away from the medical attention he needs. Then there is the successful Christian businessman has long desired to build and support a Christian “halfway house” for recovering drug addicts. It is the passion of his life. His plans have been made. Finally, construction starts on the new facility. His dream is about to be realized. Then, suddenly, his business takes a plummet. In a matter of several months, he is financially wiped out. Not only does he lose his business, but his plans of service to the Lord are lost as well.
Each desired to do something for God, but God said ‘no.’ Each is disappointed in their broken dreams. Perhaps you can add examples from your life of from the lives of friends. Just remember that sometimes God says no to things that are good and right from our perspective.
The worst part is that God doesn’t always explain why He says no. Later he told David that it was because of the blood he had shed, but at first there was no explanation. Just because He doesn’t give us a good reason, though, doesn’t mean He doesn’t have one! You see, God has His own plans. And He doesn’t have the same plans for everyone.
What is encouraging, though, is that God honored David’s intentions, even if David couldn’t carry them out (II Chronicles 6:7-8). When God says no to something, it doesn’t mean He doesn’t appreciate your honorable intentions, and He will reward you for your desires anyway. It’s also important to remember that “no” doesn’t mean God will quit using you in other ways. He still used David to bring Israel to its pinnacle as a nation, to write many Psalms, and to be an ancestor of the Messiah. Knowing all this, though, doesn’t mean it will be easy to hear no.
David gives us a good example of how to HANDLE DISAPPOINTMENT when God says no. First of all, go to God with it (2 Samuel 7:18). Don’t run from Him. Job lost everything, yet went to God for help. Jesus didn’t answer the prayer of Mary and Martha to keep their brother Lazarus alive, still they went to Him for solace when he died. They had learned to trust God as sovereign (v. 18b). God is wiser than we are and has reasons we don’t know about (v. 19-21). Often He has greater, more far-reaching plans than we do. David wanted to build God a home, but God wanted to build David a house for all eternity. The home David planned, which Solomon built, only lasted a few years, but the house God built David will last for all eternity. Perhaps some of David’s reasons for wanting a house for God in Jerusalem was to have the security of having Him there. Many of the plans we make are for our own security, and by saying “no” God is telling us to place our security only in Him.
David knew to praise, don’t pout when God told him no (v. 22-24). Paul and Silas did the same thing when God didn’t answer their pray for release from prison. Also, David knew to accept God’s will, not fight it (v. 25). Jesus tells us to pray “YOUR kingdom come; YOUR will be done.” It’s God’s kingdom, not our kingdom, that we should be concerned about.
How well we are doing with God’s “no” is shown by if we are or are not willing to do what God allows (I Chronicles 22:1-5). David didn’t complain, but asked God what else he could do. “If I can’t get married, I’ll help others who are.” “If I can’t have children, I’ll help others with theirs.” “If I can’t go on the mission field, I’ll pray for those who do go.” “If my business fails, I’ll help others make theirs a mistake.” What is your response?
Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight”.
When has God said “No” to something you wanted?
What can you learn in hindsight about why He may have said no?
How do you handle disappointment in life?
cto Rev. Dr. JERRY SCHMOYER
Christian Training Organization
Jerry@ChristianTrainingOrganization.org
ChristianTrainingOnline.org
(India, Africa & Spanish Outreach, Spiritual Warfare, Family Ministries, Counseling, World View)
Copyright © 2026