DUTIES OF A PASTOR’S WIFE (2 Timothy – 21)
A pastor’s wife is, first and foremost, a daughter of God. Her identity is in Jesus (2 Corinthians 5:17-18), not being married to a pastor. In order to be all God created her to be, she needs to take care of her health by eating healthy, getting proper rest and balancing home and ministry. Life in ministry has many demands. She has responsibilities to her husband and children, plus needs of the church. She is responsible to do her best to keep her herself and her husband healthy.
Her main responsibility as a wife is to support and help her husband (Ephesians 5:22-24, 33; Colossians 3:18; 1 Peter 3:1-6). God created the woman as a helper for her husband. (Genesis 2:18) Married men need a supportive, helpful wife. Her role is crucial. Abigail was a good example (1 Samuel 25:39-42). A wife helps by encouraging, praying, advising and protecting him from those who try to defeat and discourage him.
The husband and wife form a team in ministry. The wife does not function in the same work or authority in the church as her husband, but they are yoked together in ministry because of marriage (2 Corinthians 6:14). Sadly, some pastors’ wives view pastoring as “his” ministry and do not participate with him. Also, some pastors relegate the jobs no one else wants to their wives. This is not loving or appropriate. She has her own gifts and talents and must be encouraged to use them.
After God and her husband, but before the church, a pastor’s wife is to be a godly mother (Psalm 127:3-4). Her husband is required to “manage his own household well” in order to be a pastor (1 Timothy 3:4-5; Titus 1:6). This means leading his wife and children to live godly lives of love and respect for each other. A wife can make this easier or harder for him. She has great influence on the children and sets the emotional mood for the household. If she is happy, hopeful and joyful, the home will be also. If she is angry and critical, that will impact everyone else as well. She needs to work with her husband to create a loving, faithful family. She is his partner and his team mate, in family life as well as ministry.
As with all Christians; the pastor’s wife has special gifts God gave her to serve the Body of Christ (Romans 12:6-8). She is God’s gift to the church to fill those needs (Ephesians 4:10-12). God expects her to use those gifts (1 Peter 4:10-11). If she doesn’t, then the whole church suffers. If she is busy doing other things, she won’t have time or energy to do what God has equipped her to do. Anna in Luke 2:36-37, Dorcas in Acts 9:36, Lydia in Acts 16:15, Priscilla in Acts 18:26, Philip’s daughters in Acts 21:9, Phoebe in Romans 16:1-2, and the widows in 1 Timothy 5:3-10 are all good examples. Prioritize your time in areas of giftedness first. Add other areas as God leads you.
It is an honor to have a pastor husband. You see firsthand lives transformed and God’s hand work in ways others do not. Pray for him daily. Support him in love (gentle spirit) and without fear (peaceful inner spirit) (1 Peter 3:4). When problems arise, be a good listener, not critical and blaming him or the believers. Be a part of the solution, not adding to the problem by talking, gossip, criticizing or complaining. Take that to the Lord alone.
Do not discuss private family matters concerning your pastor husband to those in your fellowship. If you need advice or guidance, speak with a trusted, confidential, older and wise female believer. If deep concerns need attention such as physical or verbal abuse, direct your issues to a trusted elder.
Do not expect your pastor husband to always be right or respond in a godly manner. He, too, is “in process.” Extend grace to him. He needs it as well as you do. Forgive quickly to prevent a root of bitterness. Complement him; ask him about what concerns him and what encourages him. Be actively engaged in listening to his response. Be a safe listener.
In an orchestra, the first violin carries the melody and gets all the attention. But the second violinist makes the harmony and creates the musical beauty. Pastors’ wives are second violinists. They don’t get much attention but they create beautiful harmony.
Enjoy. Be blessed. Get eternal rewards. Be the best Christian woman you can be and you will automatically be a good pastor’s wife. (June 19, 2023 Doylestown, PA)
PAUL’S ADVICE: Love your husband unconditionally, submit to his leadership with respect and help him in any way you can.
1 Timothy 3:11 In the same way, their wives are to be women worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything.
What do you enjoy most about being married to a pastor?
What is the hardest thing for you as a pastor’s wife?
PRAYER REQUEST: Christian Training Organization (CTO) is sending two men to India June 17-30 to lead pastor’s conferences and speak in churches. PLEASE for these men as they travel and speak. Pray for Pastor Moses who organizes and leads the conferences. Pray for each one who comes to learn and grow in their faith and ministry. If you want to receive my India blog, pictures and prayer requests email me at jerry@schmoyer.net.
cto Rev. Dr. JERRY SCHMOYER
Christian Training Organization
Jerry@ChristianTrainingOrganization.org
(India Outreach, Spiritual Warfare, Family Ministries, Counseling, World View)
Copyright © 2023