We have seen the role of a pastor’s wife with God and her husband. Now let’s look at her children and family.
SHE IS THE SPIRIT OF THE HOME After God and her husband, but before the church, a pastor’s wife is to be a godly mother (Psalm 127:3-4). Her husband is required to “manage his own household well” in order to be a pastor (1 Timothy 3:4-5; Titus 1:6). This means leading his wife and children to live godly lives of love and respect for each other. A wife can make this easier or harder for him. She has great influence on the children and sets the emotional mood for the household. If she is happy, hopeful and joyful, the home will be also. If she is angry and critical, that will impact everyone else as well. She needs to work with her husband to create a loving, faithful family. She is his partner and his team mate, in family life as well as ministry.
SHE HELPS WITH HOUSEHOLD MANAGEMENT Much of the day-to-day management of a pastor’s household is carried out by his wife. She can greatly enhance her husband’s ministry by freeing him from the burdens of keeping the home (Titus 2:5). She creates an environment that is both a great testimony to outsiders and a peaceful haven to which he retreats at the end of each day; a place where he can feel his burdens lightened. She creates an environment that is a welcoming place for ministry and discipleship. This includes hosting others when needed. A godly woman has a high calling, as seen by the Proverbs 31 woman. She builds her house on God’s Word and principles (Proverbs 14:1).
SHE TRAINS HER CHILDREN Along with her husband, the wife trains her children to know and follow the Lord (Proverbs 22:6; 1:8-9; 6:20-22; Deuteronomy 6:7-8). She does this by words and example. The enemy tries to destroy the marriages and children of Christian leaders. Parents must be extra alert to these attacks and pray together to defeat the enemy.
SHE IS A FAITHFUL STEWARD OF RESOURCES A church is required to pay the pastor (see section IX. Duties of Sheep to Shepherds). A pastor is not greedy or materialistic, but should be able to provide for the needs of his family. A godly pastor’s wife can be a great help in keeping a balanced view of finances – not greedy or demanding. She should pray and ask God to provide. She needs to be a good steward of what the family has and use their resources wisely. When sacrifice is necessary, she does it with a humble attitude as unto the Lord. She is not jealous of others who have more. The true riches of serving in ministry are unseen in this world but rewarded in the next.
The woman in Proverbs 31 was clearly a godly woman active both in her home, place of worship and in the community (Proverbs 31:10-31). Helping and ministering to others is part of being a pastor’s wife. Considering all she does, what about a career outside the home or church? The Bible does not say. It is up to each pastor and his wife to know what God’s will is for their family. Working outside the home will require extra skill in time management at home and church to discern what activities are most important and what will need to be delegated to others.
My wife worked as a nurse when I pastored. The income was needed and provided health care insurance for the family. It was also a good opportunity for her to meet new people and share the gospel. Some people turned to Jesus and continue to be good friends today. God created her with nursing skills and put a desire in her to use those gifts for His glory. Each couple will have to pray and decide what is best for their family.
FOR PASTORS: Do you put your children before your ministry, making sure their needs are met before you minister to others?
Share this blog with your wife and talk about it with her.
FOR PASTORS’ WIVES: Do you serve your husband and children as serving Jesus Himself?
Do you feel discouraged or tired from your role as wife and mother? Pray for strength. Ask Godly women you trust to pray for you as well.
cto Rev. Dr. JERRY SCHMOYER
Christian Training Organization
Jerry@ChristianTrainingOrganization.org
(India, Africa & Spanish Outreach, Spiritual Warfare, Family Ministries, Counseling, World View)
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