THE PASTOR’S WIFE AND HER HUSBAND
The main responsibility of a pastor’s wife is to support and help her husband (Ephesians 5:22-24, 33; Colossians 3:18; 1 Peter 3:1-6). God created the woman as a helper for her husband. (Genesis 2:18) Married men need a supportive, helpful wife. Her role is crucial. Abigail was a good example (1 Samuel 25:39-42). A wife helps by encouraging, praying, advising and protecting him from those who try to defeat and discourage him.
SHE IS PART OF A TEAM The husband and wife form a team in ministry. The wife does not function in the same work or authority in the church as her husband, but they are yoked together in ministry because of marriage (2 Corinthians 6:14). Sadly, some pastors’ wives view pastoring as “his” ministry and do not participate with him. Also, some pastors relegate to her the jobs no one else wants to do. This is not loving or appropriate.
A godly wife is to be an encouragement to her husband. She can see things he doesn’t and give him good advice when needed. She can listen when he needs to talk and offer suggestions. When he struggles, she can assist him and if he sins, she can pray for him (Galatians 6:2-12). She knows him better than anyone. She knows his strengths, weaknesses, temptations and challenges. She knows how to best help him.
She is in a unique position to help him as he ministers to women. She can understand the needs and problems of other women, address sensitive subjects best handled by women, and accompany him when he counsels or visits with women. A man should never, ever, for any reason be alone with a woman who is not his wife, mother or daughter. That is essential for a pastor’s reputation and temptation. His wife can be available to help insure this.
She is not an assistant pastor and shouldn’t be treated as such by her husband or the people in the church. She brings her own unique perspective and set of gifts to use for her husband and the church. Priscilla, wife of Aquila, was a good example of a wife who used her gifts to minister and work as a team with her husband (Acts 18:26; Romans 16:3-5; 1 Corinthians 16:19).
SHE PRAYS Prayer is an important part of any wife’s responsibility to her husband. Pray for wisdom, guidance, perseverance, courage and purity. Pray for a hedge of protection to be around him and the whole family (Job 1:10). Pray God will place guardian angels around about, protecting and guarding against all evil or hindrances that may cause harm to him (Matthew 18:10; Daniel 10:21; Psalm 91:11; 34: 6-7; Acts 12:1-10; Hebrews 1:14).
Pray with him. Make yourself available to pray with him before he leaves for special duties or functions. Pray with him at the start and end of each day. Pray together for your family and his responsibilities. Some things are only accomplished by prayer (Mark 9:29). I can look back on my ministry and see my wife’s prayers often did more for the kingdom than all my busy working.
SHE LOVES HER HUSBAND God requires a church leader to be a faithful, loving husband. That is the literal meaning of “husband of one wife.” In the Greek it means “one woman man” (1 Timothy 3:2; Titus 1:6). A pastor needs to be a faithful, loyal, loving husband. The wife responds to his love with loyalty and love. Many pastors do not have close friends to share their problems. A pastor’s wife provides companionship to encourage him in ministry even when he feels like quitting. I am blessed with a godly, faithful wife who helps me and stood with me through many difficult years. I would not be the person I am or have the ministry I have without her sacrificial love and service. Her unconditional love for me is a reflection of God’s love for me and I thank her, and Him, for it. Praise God for godly wives (Proverbs 18:22; 31:30-31).
FOR PASTORS: Do you put your wife first, making sure their needs are met before you minister to others?
Share this blog with your wife and talk about it with her.
FOR PASTORS’ WIVES: Do you help your husband by having a peaceful, organized home?
Do you pray regularly and faithfully with and for your husband?
cto Rev. Dr. JERRY SCHMOYER
Christian Training Organization
Jerry@ChristianTrainingOrganization.org
(India Outreach, Spiritual Warfare, Family Ministries, Counseling, World View)
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