Most of the qualifications for pastors and church leaders in 1 Timothy 3 are one-word descriptions, but one is so important that Paul spends 2 verses describing it (1 Timothy 3:4-5).  It is about the importance of managing a family and children.  Right after your wife come your children in importance.  Don’t neglect them for the work of the Lord.  You will impact their lives more than anyone else ever.  They are your disciples to train and form for ministry.  Your children are your first responsibility after your wife and your best opportunity to mentor.  Their needs for a father’s love and attention must be met by you.  The way you, their earthly father, treat them is the way they view their heavenly Father, God.  Do you want them thinking they aren’t important, that you have other things that are more important?  If they get that message from you, they will feel that way about God as well.  You are forming a picture of what God is like in their lives by how you treat them.  God expects you to meet the needs of your children no matter how many other things you have to do.

In the Old Testament, Eli is a bad example of a father (1 Samuel 2).  He let his sons get away with out-of-control behavior (1 Samuel 3:13).  As a result, he and they died and the priesthood passed on to others.  It didn’t matter that Eli was a fine High Priest, he was a poor father and that cost him his ministry.

Jesus’ top priority while on earth was His ‘family’ of disciples, not the crowds and not new programs and projects.  He put His close followers and their needs first, often withdrawing from the crowds or sending others away to spend time with the disciples.  His pattern is ours to follow today.  There is no one you will reproduce yourself in more completely than your own children.  You will totally impact their lives, for good or for bad.  Your life will greatly influence theirs.  The only question is what the influence will be, good or not so good.  Children are like soft clay which you are forming and molding into whatever image you choose.  If you are too busy to be with them much, that forms an image of rejection and unimportance in them.  You are forming them and will form them more than anyone else.

Now that my children are grown, one of my greatest joys in life is watching them serve the Lord and follow Him.  “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” (3 John 4).  Each one of them has chosen to stay faithful to God and serve Him wholeheartedly.  I take great pleasure in that, although I don’t take credit for it.  That is between them and God and there are too many factors involved for me to take credit for it.  It is all His grace.  I can rest in the fact that, as far as I was able at the time, I did my best to love them and teach them about God.  I certainly wasn’t perfect, and I did have church responsibilities that demanded time and attention, but I always knew they were my number one priority and I greatly enjoyed raising them for the Lord.  God gets the credit for how they turned out, but I am thankful I don’t have to live with too many regrets.  As they say, no one on their death bed wishes they would have spent more time at work!  Make sure your family is your first priority now and always  (1 Timothy 3:4-5; Titus 1:6; Proverbs 22:6).

There are great blessings for children of pastors and leaders, but there is often more expected of them and things can be harder on them.  Make sure the blessings always outweigh the more difficult aspects.

Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

What can you do today to show your children, whatever their age, your love for them?

Pray for your children.  If you don’t have any, pray for the children of pastors and leaders you know.


I have written books for pastors and they are yours for free.   They are in English, Telugu, Spanish and one in Odia.  You can download them at  Or you can email me and tell me which books in which language you want.  I will email a PDF of them to you.  Or you can pick up printed copies in Hyderabad.  Contact Pastor Moses at 9866543468 and make arrangements with him.  These are the books:

“Bible Overview”

“Biblical Prophecy”

“Duties of Pastors & Leaders”

“Leadership Lessons from the Bible”

“Marriage & Ministry”

“Paul’s Advice to Pastors” (A study of 1 & 2 Timothy, Titus)

“Preaching and Teaching God’s Word”

“Spiritual Growth & Discipleship”

“Spiritual Warfare”

“Studying God’s Word”

“What God Expects of Churches”

“What God Expects of Pastors”

“Why We Believe: Apologetics”



Christian Training Organization

(India Outreach,