The Root of Marriage Problems


(3 of 15 blogs about spiritual warfare and marriage/family, taken from material I presented at a marriage retreat, Winning the Battle For Your Family, in 2019)

            At their root, virtually all marriage problems are individual problems which affect the marriage.  Leaving the current mate and marrying someone else does not keep the problem from reoccurring.  When Biblical counsel, trying harder, and doing all the right things to help a marriage do not work, then it could be something demonic is affecting one or both partners and therefore the whole marriage. 

            If your parents, siblings or other relatives are struggling with the same issues (personal or marriage) and you can see a pattern in your family of origin, it certainly could be something demonic that is passed down family lines.  If so, that needs to be confessed and broken in Jesus’ name.

            Is there unconfessed sexual sin in your life now or in your past?  Sex forms oneness between those involved, even if there isn’t emotional attachment (1 Corinthians 6:16).  Emotional bonding without sex can also form an emotional/spiritual oneness between people.  If one of the people involved is open to any demonic activity then those demons can and often will claim access to the other person as well.  This oneness, physical or emotional, needs to be confessed and broken.  Any access any demons claim from it must be removed and put under the blood of Jesus.  Those demons must be commanded to be gone forever in Jesus’ name.

            Individual sin can also open the door to demons affecting not just the individual but the marriage and family.  This includes things like anger, fear, lust, pornography, romantic fantasies, greed, etc.  These may also have roots in your family line and that must be taken broken in Jesus’ name as well.  Even when the sin comes down through the family line, when you commit it you are personally guilty and that must be confessed and renounced (1 John 1:9).  Then the demons must be commanded to be gone in Jesus’ name. 

            Unforgiveness, bitterness, revenge, criticism and the like all open the door to demonic attack (Ephesians 4:26-27; Matthew 15:19-20; etc.).  The person needs to be forgiven and the opening closed by Jesus.  Demons with access must be commanded to be gone in Jesus’ name.

            To have victory we must repent of sin and confess it (1 John 1:9), putting it under the blood of Jesus.  If it is ancestral we must break that in Jesus name as well, claiming our oneness with Jesus as of first priority (2 Corinthians 5:17).  If it is from an unbiblical bonding that, too, must be broken. These things close the door that lets the demons in to work.  But the demons already with access will still be there so the second step is to make sure they are commanded to be gone in Jesus’ name.  Close the door and then empty the room.  Then the room must be filled with God’s present – that will be what the next blog is about.

John 10:9-10 I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. They will come in and go out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

If God is showing you any of these are active in your life or your marriage, pray for wisdom and courage, then attack them as described in the blog.  Pray with your mate if at all possible.

Jerry Schmoyer

Christian Training Organization 

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