Understanding Male Sexuality

Suppose you were traveling in another country and walking around some evening.  As you walked you came to a building where people were lined up to enter so you got in line.  They seemed excited as they seated themselves facing a stage.  Everyone applauded and cheered as a man walked out with a large tray covered with a towel.  Wild music started to play and lights flashed on and off.  Slowly the man would lift one corner of the towel and then another, allowing the audience to catch a glimpse of what was under it.  The people cheered louder and louder.  Suddenly the towel was totally removed and everyone went wild as the lights dimmed.  What you saw before all went dark was a nice, fresh pork shop!  What would you think?  Was their something wrong with their appetite?  Suppose as you left you noticed a magazine stand with pictures of pork chops on the cover and inside.  Pork chops were used to sell cars, mufflers, clothing — anything and everything.  TV programs and movies were rated as to how much pork chop was shown.  Jokes and general conversation often focused on pork chops.  People carry them around to entice the opposite sex.  What would you think of a culture like that?  Have you caught my analogy yet?  That is the way our country is about sex!

“It’s different,” you say.  “Pork chop lust is weird, but sexual preoccupation is just a normal and natural thing.”  Unfortunately that’s true of the time and place we live.  Seeing it as normal is the result of growing up in 20th century western civilization.  Sexual addiction is becoming more and more common and studies show that 70% of Christian men struggle with sexual sin of one kind or another.  Something must be done.  By looking at Samson’s life we can learn valuable lessons about this very defeating temptation.


We pick up the story of Samson some time after he left his wife in rage and hurt.  After awhile his desire for her became stronger than his male ego so he returned to her (Judges 15:1).  It seems lust is motivating him, not love.  He is thinking of his needs, not hers.  He isn’t interested in a relationship, just sexual gratification.

HOW TO SURVIVE AN AFFAIR  To his surprise, though, Samson finds out she now has another husband and he is unwelcome (v. 2).  What is one to do when they discover that their mate has been unfaithful?  Revenge and bitterness is no option for the Christian.  The hurt and pain must be taken to Jesus.  It can’t be stuffed down inside nor let loose on the offending person.  We must forgive as Jesus forgave us.  We can’t forget, but we can give up any thoughts of revenge and handle our pain with Jesus’ help.  Good counseling and the support of a few godly friends is important, too.  Pray for healing for both of you, ask God to remove the thought of what happened and treat the other person as a restored person, as you’d need to be treated were it you.  That’s what should be done, but that’s not what Samson did.

Instead he let his hurt turn to anger.  His wounded male ego exploded on innocent animals and people (v. 3-5). In childish immaturity he catches 300 foxes, ties them together, and sets them on fire to run through dry grain fields, thus destroying many Philistine crops.  That just brought revenge on him, and his ex wife and family were burned to death (v. 6).  Samson then killed many Philistines (v. 8).  He ended up killing a thousand Philistines (v. 9-17) with God’s strength, but then ended up whining like a spoiled child when he was thirsty from it all and couldn’t find any immediate source of drink (v. 18).  God patiently provided (v. 19-20).

PRAY: Would those who know you say you have a problem with anger?  Confess it as sin and ask God to forgive you.  Ask God to take back any access this sin has given to Satan’s forces. Then pray to forgive others that have hurt you, one by one. 

(If I can answer questions or offer personal counsel, or if you would like a free copy of my Spiritual Warfare Handbook, email me at Jerry@ChristianTrainingOrganization.org or download it from http://sw.christiantrainingonline.org/.  My next book, Spiritual Warfare in the Bible, which is a more advanced treatment of spiritual warfare, is also available for free.)

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