This blog is a continuation of the previous one about how to have victory over sexual sin.
- BE WILLING TO PAY THE PRICE TO GET AND STAY FREE It’s not easy to get free from sexual sin, and to honest it usually is just the shame that it brings that we regret, not the sin itself. We don’t have a real disgust for the sin itself, it continues to have great appeal. The sin does, to some extent, meet some legitimate needs (but in an illegitimate way). It is a great mental escape, a momentary high from the adrenaline that the anticipation brings and the pleasure of the act itself. There is also the thrill of the chase, the appeal of the forbidden fruit, and the challenge of the hunt. It’s only natural to take the path of least resistance, and breaking a pattern of sexual sin is not that! One usually stops only when the pain of continuing is greater than the pain of stopping. It takes a strong commitment to be willing to pay the price to get free! Getting into the sinful pattern/addiction happened over time, and so does getting free. You must be willing to endure emotional pain or anxiety instead of escaping or deadening it with sex. You must be willing to do without intimacy instead of substituting for it with sex. You must live with unmet needs, unmasked pain, boredom, and intense cravings for your sexual substitute. Freedom comes, but only when one is willing to pay the price (Matthew 5:29-30).
- BELIEVE YOU CAN HAVE VICTORY IN GOD Many men stay defeated because they don’t believe they can ever have victory over their sin. In their own strength they can’t. God doesn’t remove our lust but He gives us power to overcome it. We are a new creation (Rom 6:1-7) and have a power greater than sin within us to help us (Romans 6:8-14) if we let him. That is our free will choice. In order to have victory, though, often demonic footholds must be broken. They can come from sexual sins our fathers or grandfathers committed (Exodus 20:5), or from sexual unions we formed in the past (I Cor 6:16). In either case those openings must be put under the blood of Jesus.
- TAKE A STAND FOR PURITY IN YOUR THOUGHTS AND ACTIONS Starting in our mind we must make sure all our thoughts are pure (Phil 4:8-9). We must commit ourselves to keep these things out (Job 31:1). We can’t just remove what is wrong, we must replace it with what is right. Pure thoughts must replace impure. Listen to Christian music or tapes of the Bible. Memorize scripture verses (Ps. 25:3-4; 101:2-3; 119:9-11; Mt. 4:4; 18:3-11; Jn. 17:19; Eph. 6:10-16; Heb. 2:12; I Jn. 3:8; 4:4). In order to really purify our thoughts it is often necessary to get to the root cause and work through the childhood pain which keeps us from real intimacy so we need the false intimacy that sexual sin seems to provide. Ask God to show you what you need to remember. Get insight into how that affects you today. Forgive those in the past who have hurt you. Pray for god to heal, forgive and restore.
- LEARN TO DEVELOP TRUE INTIMACY WITH YOUR WIFE By developing true intimacy the need for the false substitute will lessen. This takes total openness and honesty, being vulnerable to hurt and rejection. Accept your wife as she is and ask for God’s love for her. Pray that your sexual needs would be met with her (Prov 5:15-19). Enjoy her body as God intended it (see article 4 in this series). Spend lots of good time with her, relating and loving her as God wants you to do. Learn from her how to be intimate emotionally and spiritually.
- BECOME ACCOUNTABLE TO A GODLY MAN While we have all kinds of blocks against this, finding a godly man to support, encourage and hold us accountable is very important (James 5:16). Our fear of exposure and rejection, male pride and ego which tells us we don’t need any help and ignorance of intimacy combine to keep us from reaching out to someone else. Our mate can’t do this. She won’t ask the tough questions and we won’t always be honest. If I can help anyone in this area please contact me and I’ll gladly do what I can.
There is freedom from sexual sin, despite what the enemy might be telling you! It isn’t easy, but it is available. Putting it off won’t make it any easier. Resources are available (God, the Bible, others), but it is up to each one to be willing to pay the price. Are you now willing? If not, what will it take?
PRAY: Ask God to show you which of these steps will help you to have victory. Write down specific steps in how you can apply these things to your life.
(If I can answer questions or offer personal counsel, or if you would like a free copy of my Spiritual Warfare Handbook, email me at Jerry@ChristianTrainingOrganization.org or download it from http://sw.christiantrainingonline.org/. My next book, Spiritual Warfare in the Bible, which is a more advanced treatment of spiritual warfare, is also available for free.)