“MARRIAGE IS A 50-50 PROPOSITION” (Marriage Lies 4)
Did you believe the common lie that marriage is 50-50 when you got married? Do you still believe it? Like all lies, it sounds true when you first hear it. It seems to make sense to think that if both marriage partners do their half they will meet in the middle and everything will be fine. After all, it isn’t fair for one to do more than the other, is it? When they do their part, then I’ll do mine. Sound familiar?
Similarly, those who aren’t married can see their friendships and other relationships the same way. “What’s in it for me?” “What am I getting out of this relationship?” “Is this friendship worth the effort?” “I won’t reach out to them unless they reach out to me first.”
Satan subtly weaves these lies into our culture to feed on our pride and self-centeredness. It’s very easy to forget we are to serve others as Jesus serves us and instead expect them to serve us as well (John 13:14-15). Servanthood is the key, in marriage or in friendship (Philippians 2:3-8).
The truth, of course, is that relationships demand 100% from each person. Both mates must be fully committed to do their very best all the time no matter what. If we do any less the relationship will fail. If you only do 50%, who will determine what ‘half’ is? Where is this ‘middle’ where we are supposed to meet? Just where is the middle where we need to meet? Jesus doesn’t meet us half way. He doesn’t say that if we do our 50% then He’ll do His 50%. How would that work? Jesus does 100% when it comes to salvation, and continues to do so as He guides, forgives, restores and uses us. We are to be like Him. We are to give 100% as well (1 Corinthians 13:7-8).
Be aware of subtle lies that will undermine your marriage. We believe lies because we deceive ourselves. Our pride, self-focus and ignorance open us to self-deception. We will believe what we want to believe, which agrees with what we think. We think we are wise but really, we are fools (1 Corinthians 3:18-20).
Truth does not come from within us, it comes from God’s Word (Psalm 119:15-16). The better we know God’s Word the more clearly, we will see the lies of the enemy. If we fill ourselves with worldly thoughts and ideas by what we watch and listen to, we will be secretly fed lie after lie. Nourish yourself on God’s Word and know His truth instead. Only God’s truth can bring freedom (John 8:31-32).
Do you have trouble meeting your meet more than half way? Do you secretly keep score to make sure they are working as hard as you are? What would it look like if each of you totally gave 100% all the time?
cto Rev. Dr. JERRY SCHMOYER
Christian Training Organization
(India Outreach, Spiritual Warfare, Family Ministries, Counseling, World View)
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