Retirement Lesson 3 The Value of a Good Wife


The most outstanding part of retirement for me has been the enjoyment and joy I find in a good relationship with a loving, godly wife.  We have always been close, and grew much closer in recent years, but in these 6 months of retirement our closeness, oneness, love, companionship and need for each other has grown multiple times.  I don’t know how that is possible, but God is doing it.

Each time we had another child our love increased and we had more than enough for the new child.  He is doing the same thing in increasing our love for each other.  I don’t know how to describe it.  Words fall so far short.  If you have that kind of a relationship with a mate you know what I am talking about.  If you have a mate but don’t share that closeness with them, pray God would put it in your heart and their heart, and both of you would know how to bring that about (and come to our marriage retreat March 10-12 when we’ll talk about that very thing!).  That doesn’t mean we don’t have our ‘times’ of hurting and being hurt, on purpose or accidental, but they happen less often and don’t last as long as they used to.

I can’t imagine having to live without Nancy, and she says the same thing.  But that is a very real possibility.  Nancy’s mother is a widow, and my father was a widower for almost 25 years.  It’s one of the main areas in which our faith is being stretched – how God will work out our upcoming final years: who will remain alone and for how long.  It’s one of the hardest things I’ve had to trust God for, but I am doing it.  I wouldn’t trade the fine relationship we now have for anything, though.

We both are glad that we have what we have.  We never tire of being together, enjoy each other more and more, always find numerous things to talk about and share.   We face many things in life, but knowing we face them together makes it all possible.  We complement each other, balance each other, and never enjoy being apart, even for a short time.  I know the closer we become the harder our eventual separation will be, but it certainly “better to have loved and lost than never loved at all”!  Beside, maybe God will be merciful and take us both at the same (or nearly the same) time.  Better yet – maybe Jesus will come back and take us to heaven along with all of you who believe.  How wonderful would that be!

PS  If it isn’t God’s will for you to have a mate, don’t feel left out for HE promises He will meet your unmet needs in a special way, directly or through friends – trust Him to do so and draw closer to Him.

Proverbs 31:10 An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.

Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Titus 2:3-5 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

However things are going with you and your mate, there is room for growth. Daily ask God to give you His unconditional love for your mate, and that they would have the same for you.

What can you do TODAY to help improve your relationship with your mate?  Do it!  (If you don’t know, learn your mate’s love language and start speaking that to them.)

INDIA UPDATE & PRAYER:  We are traveling to London, then Hyderabad today so I set this blog to post before leaving.  It’s really appropriate for there aren’t words to say how much it means to me to have Nancy come to India with me.  It’s a great sacrifice for her for many reasons, but she does it for God and for me.  I really don’t function well at all without her!  Pray God would bless and encourage her in a special way.  Pray He would enable her to meet my needs, and me to meet hers.  Thanks!

Jerry Schmoyer

Christian Training Organization

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