(Monday, February 4, 2013) I don’t know how your mind works, but mine is always alert to what God may be teaching me, especially in a situation like this. I certainly don’t want to miss anything and have to take the course over! It’s never some flashing light bulb or new revelation in my mind. Instead, He seems to work in my heart, going deeper in some area where more depth is needed. I have been aware of two outstanding threads of truth God has been showing me since I’ve been here. The first has to do with Genesis 15:1. I’ll preach about that my first Sunday back, then blog about it later. The other I’ll write about now. I don’t know if this will mean much to you, but it’s important for me to write things down so I can process them. That’s why I blog – it’s done for me to put vague concepts into words, then I just let you peek over my shoulder at what I’ve written. This one is purely subjective, so I’m not sure how I can explain it in words, but I’ll give it a try.
I’ve gotten a much, much clearer, deeper awareness of God’s power and His love. That might not mean much to you, but for this German introvert that is big! I’ve always known in my head God is all powerful and loves me as much as He can, but I sort of felt He loved me on the group plan – I was a Christian and He loved all Christian. I’ve always believed in His power and love in my mind and they have been gradually seeping into my heart over the years, but God’s Spirit gave that a major boost the last month. My desire for many years has been to develop a closer intimacy with God, to “know” Him better – not just know about Him but to know HIM. Philippians 3:10-14 has always been the closest thing to a ‘life verse’ I’m ever had. More than anything I want to develop a deep personal intimacy with God. For this relationally-challenged introvert that is unfamiliar territory – and sometimes it’s a big scary to be honest.
I’m not given to emotional excesses; in fact I’m not given to much emotion at all. That’s not the way God wired me to work. He works through my rational thought to touch me deeply, and that’s what has been happening. It’s not some dramatic, sensational event, but a deep inner awareness as His Spirit gently points these things out to me about God.
First, I am more aware of God’s power in my life than ever. There is no way we should be doing this work here – Satan and his kingdom of darkness should be causing all kinds of havoc with us. Each conference his defeat is taught and through prayer and teaching many of his captives are set free and equipped to set others free. Books are given out to help the message spread. Only God’s great power can keep us safe through all that, and He has. And I’ve seen answers to prayers, some for me but mainly for others, that are nothing but miraculous. God is revealing His power to me as never before.
The other aspect of His which He is revealing to me is His love. I’ve always been more impressed with power than love, but power without love is empty. Love without power is weak. They are both needed to form a whole picture of God. I think it’s finally starting to sink in that He loves me for me, just for me no matter what I do. He isn’t just tolerating me or loving me on the group plan. He’s done so many things that I can explain in no other way than to say it’s only because He loves me. The fact He would choose me to be the channel to pass on these truths to these men just is more than I can grasp. This is so much just the very tip of the iceberg that we see. He is starting so much in so many ways, and He’s using me as His human instrument to do it. The gifts and training He’s given me over the years come together perfectly: teaching, spiritual warfare, marriage training, counseling, magic, mentoring pastors, etc. Teaming me up with Moses is something only He could do. It’s way too much to be coincidental. A Master plan has been at work for some time, and He allows me to get a front row seat because He loves me and wants to bless me in this way! On top of that He shows His love by giving me the most delightful, loving wife I could possibly have. I can’t begin to describe the enormity of His gift of Nancy to me as my wife. Then there are my wonderful children and their families. And He is letting me fulfill a lifelong dream, which I gave up on years ago, of writing books! I always felt the greatest privilege He could give someone is to be a missionary and I’m getting a taste of that, too. If you knew my past history, you would see there is no way I would ever in any way deserve any of this.
I still have a long way to go, but it feels good to be more aware of God’s power and His love for me. It really feels great. I know I’m just scratching the surface and I look forward to more (Philippians 1:6), but I thank Him for this now. And if you’ve gotten this far this blog, I thank you for listening to me try and put this into words.
Philippians 3:10-14 I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Don’t think this is something just for me because I am in India. I think God needs to take everything away so He gets my full attention and can finally show me these things. Hopefully you aren’t such a slow learner! Spend time today thinking about how God has been in the past and is now revealing His power and His love to you. Thank Him for it. You might want to write it down, too, to help process it. If you’d like, send me a copy – I’d enjoy reading how He works in your life as well.