Unfortunately, too many pastors become so busy leading their church that they neglect their wives and children.  They find their church more rewarding than trying to meet the needs of their families, so they spend their time in ministry and not with family.  That is totally wrong.  Our family must come before our church, and our wife before our children (1 Timothy 3:2, 4-5; Titus 1:6; 2:6; Ephesians 5:22-33; 1 Peter 3:1-7; Genesis 2:23-24).

Pastors can easily be tempted to be busy with God’s work and neglect their family.  When helping other people we get praise and respect.  That doesn’t always happen at home.  Our wives know what we are really like because they live with us all the time, and sometimes we aren’t good examples of Jesus in our own family.  Yet our wives need us even more than our church members.  You are the only pastor your wife will ever have.  She will be with you the rest of your life.  Others may come and go from your church but she will always be there for you.  God clearly says that if a man can’t be a good husband and father he won’t be a good pastor (1 Timothy 3:4-5).

In his list of qualifications for church leaders, Paul goes into detail when he says a pastor must manage his family well or he won’t be able to take care of the church (1 Timothy 3:4-5).  It can be harder to lead our own family than the church.  God uses the relationships in our home, especially with our wife, to teach and train us to be more like Jesus.  We learn love, patience and sacrifice in marriage.

The way we treat our families is the way we will treat the church.  If we are bossy or controlling at home we will be that way at church.  If we give in to others out of fear instead of doing what we know is right, we will do that at church.  If we get angry when things don’t go as we want we will respond that way in church as well.

It can be very hard for a neglected wife to complain when her husband is busy serving God and helping others.  If we were spending many hours in a business she could remind us of our responsibility to her, but since we are serving God she doesn’t feel she can complain.  Often we take advantage of that and spend far more time ministering than God expects of us.  God expects us to make our wife our number one sheep and not neglect her for our ministry.


It’s important for your people to learn that your wife is your most important priority, even more than the church.  This sets the example for other husbands to put their wives first.  It teaches younger boys that their wives must come first and it lets women and girls know what they deserve and can expect from their future husband.  It is a very, very important example for your own children as well.

The most important ministry you will do this week is in your own home.

1 Timothy 3:4-5  He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect.  (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?)

When God looks at you and your ministry, does He see that your wife is your first ministry?

Would your wife say she is more important to you than your ministry?


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Copyright © 2024

Christian Training Organization
(India Outreach, Spiritual Warfare, Family Ministries, Counseling, World View) Copyright ©1995-2024